is it OK?

Is it OK to not be OK? I know that people worry about me. I know that I worry about myself, especially when I don’t feel well. What I mean is I worry about how I react to not being well. When I feel the need to hide my un- wellness from other people, is that for myself, or is that for them? Do I talk myself out of feeling shitty by telling someone else I’m feeling great, or am I just fooling myself. One of the coaches at the gym used to say “it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you handle what happens”. Trite but true.

Everyone, please forgive me, I’m not very good at this yet. The note that I put up the other day was actually an e-mail I started sending to someone specifically, but then I started thinking I had no idea when he would receive it, and I was wondering what would happen if I just threw it up on the blog. (Sort of like barfing, and then you feel better). So much to my surprise, people did read it, and George and Cathy called Randi later that evening to see if I was OK. My brother called the next day to see what was going on, so… Mission accomplished! I had connected. Now I just have to learn how to read the comments and stay up to date. Is there a responsibility to maintain a conversation, or can I just share what’s on my mind? Impulsively, like buying candy at the cash register. Today is partly cloudy — partly sunny — fresh clean day after a storm. Matches my mood. My goal for today is to join a support group for tethered spinal cord patients. I’m scheduled for un-tethering surgery in three weeks, and I’m going to try and crawl out of my shell and connect with other people who have suffered through this procedure. I’m not sure how many of you out there know about this upcoming event, so within the next week or so I shall explain further. That’s all for today.